Here Without You
by darksparrow16
Summary: Edward's thoughts during his and Bella's separation in New Moon. Song by 3 Doors Down


Here Without You

Characters owned by Stephanie Meyers

Song owned by 3 Doors Down.

Set after Edward leaves Bella. Edward POV

My life was over. My human life, well over, but my existence now…that was over too. Days and Days have gone by…it appears that the only thing changed here is that I get older. What I thought for a day to take forever to end…that seems like seconds, compared to the ways days drag on and on in this damn place now. A place for me…one of the damned. I closed my eyes again, Bella's face right there in front of me. She's smiling, she's happy. Maybe she's moved on now that I'm not there to hold her back anymore. I wanted to go back to her, though. I wanted to hold in my arms, oh so carefully again, to hum her lullaby, and watch her sleep. To be with her once more.

_**A thousand days has made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face.**_

They call, oh yes, my fammily calls me every once in a while to make sure that I am still alive. Every time they ask how I am doing, I wish I could tell them the truth. That I am miserable without my Bella. That I wish I had never left her, and that I wish I could go back home to her, right this instant. But instead, I lie. I lie and say that I'm fine. That I'm really okay, when in fact, I am truly dying from the inside out. They know the truth too. Alice knows…she sees me in different places, head on my knees in aguish. She keeps it to herself, though, and I'm grateful for that. She respects my pain. She respects me. I, on the other hand, hate myself for what I have done. To myself, and more to Bella. She feels so far away from me now. So much I wish I could say.

_**A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at the same. But all the miles that separate. They disappear now, when I'm dreaming of your face.**_

I sit here.

Alone without you, my Bella, and yet you are on my completely lonely mind.

I think about you all the time, and if I could dream, I'd dream about you all the time, Bella.

I'm here without you.

And you're still with me in my thoughts and day dreams.

And tonight, I wish it was only you and me.

_**I'm here without you, baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you, baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, it's only you and me.**_

The miles between us now, my Bella and I, so far away now. I refuse to let any people see me, so I've travel by night. Life…existence now…seems so overrated. I don't know where I should go. I can't run from you, Bella. You seem to follow me everywhere. I wonder how my promise is holding up for you. "_It will be as if I never existed."_ I wish you could know just weak I really am. I wonder if you've found all the things I "took back" from you to insure my promise. The pictures, the cd, the tickkets…they're all still in your room, hidden, but there. I wonder if you've found them. I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you. I wish you could know how I feel exactly.

_**The miles just keep rolling, as the people make their way to say hello. I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope that it gets better as we go. Oh, yeah.**_

I sit here.

Alone without you, my Bella, and yet you are on my completely lonely mind.

I think about you all the time, and if I could dream, I'd dream about you all the time, Bella.

I'm here without you.

And you're still with me in my thoughts and day dreams.

And tonight, I wish it was only you and me.

_**I'm here without you, baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you, baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, girl, it's only you and me.**_

Everything I know is you, Bella, and pain. Anywhere I go, Bella, you follow me there, hauting me with your beautiful memory. This is so hard, but nothing will take away my love for you. Whne everything is said and done, nothing will take away my love, Bella. Nothing.

_**Everything I know, and anywhere I go. It gets hard, but it won't take away my love. And when the last one falls. When all is said and done .It gets hard, but it won't take away my love. Whoa, no. **_

I sit here.

Alone without you, my Bella, and yet you are on my completely lonely mind.

I think about you all the time, and if I could dream, I'd dream about you all the time, Bella.

I'm here without you.

And you're still with me in my thoughts and day dreams.

And tonight, I wish it was only you and me.

_**I'm here without you, baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you, baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, girl, it's only you and me. Yeah, oh, yeah.**_


End file.
